I don’t think we’ve ever been in a time where women feel more strongly that submission to your husband is “old fashioned” at best.
Most women I know believe submission to mean allowing your husband to Lord over you and boss you around while you lie complacently at his feet – a doormat.
After all, women have the same intellect and ability men do. Why should it be me, the woman, who is submissive to my husband?
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Why Submission to Your Husband Seems So Odd
Women often balk at the idea of submission because we’ve likened the idea to weak minded women who are incapable of thinking for themselves. Feminists would like us to believe that in a strong, intelligent, capable woman would never reduce herself to submission to her husband.
From a young age, females today are being indoctrinated to insist on an egalitarian marriage. Instead of viewing their marriage as a partnership they view it as two equal parts.
- Your husband does what he wants and you do what you want.
- If a decision has to be made and you oppose you fight it out until one of you submits and the other punishes the winner.
- You inform rather than discuss the decisions impacting your family.
- You each regularly vent to your friends about the faults of your spouse and laugh with them as they reciprocate.
This is the norm; what we are taught marriage should look like. If it doesn’t, you’re told by professionals and experts that you are being emotionally abused, a victim of gaslighting, or ruled by a narcissist. You need to get out now and live your life!
Those of us who do believe in and practice submission to our husband keep it to ourselves because we know as soon as we say something we’ll be embarrassed and humiliated.
But here’s the reality that our society tries so hard to bury. Men and women, while they have an equal worth, are inherently different! And that’s ok! Our bodies are built differently. Our brains work differently. We have biologically different strengths and weaknesses. Our relationship needs are different. No matter how much we want to be the same we will always be different.
Erase the idea that being a woman and fulfilling more traditional roles makes you a lesser human being. Feminists would like you to believe that these traditional roles are a man’s way of dominating. We were created differently and the roles of homemaker, wife, mother should be exalted not humiliated.
Your Husband Has Responsibilities Too.
Submission is definitely not one-sided. Both of you have a responsibility to the other.
- You both must be willing to admit mistakes and forgive.
- The two of you must be like-minded in your desire to build your marriage.
- You both must be consistently working to develop your own character and healthy habits.
- Neither of you should be looking out for your own good or even the best interest of the other but rather what is best for you as a united couple.
Perhaps the biggest responsibility each of us have is we should never speak badly of the other. If there is a problem it should be discussed between the two of you. Don’t gossip about your husband to your girlfriends or even your mom. Always focus on building the other up.
A lot of arguments against submission stem from the belief that our husbands are off the hook. The husband becomes the tyrant and the wife the slave. This is not the case at all!
Your husband has unique responsibilities in your marriage too. He is to be a leader in the marriage, not a dictator.
- Decisions should be discussed and your husband has a responsibility to listen with an open mind to your concerns.
- Decisions should never be made in haste.
- Your husband has a responsibility to consider you and your needs unselfishly.
- Your husband should never mock or make fun of you.
- He has a responsibility to love and to cherish you.
Why Submission to Your Husband is Important
You chose to marry this man. Think back to the day you got married. What was going through your mind? What parts of your husband’s character made you want to marry him? Why did you marry him?
Did you think marriage was going to be the two of you cohabitating, each of you making individual choices and decisions all while hoping for the best?
But that’s not what marriage is! Marriage is two people who are choosing to join together, to travel the remainder of their lives as one. It’s about unity not individuality. Anything else is just a roommate with benefits.
Unfortunately we see a lot of failed marriages these days. It’s become normal to us. We marvel at the marriages that make it to the ten-year mark. A lot of people argue incompatibility as the primary reason for a failed marriage.
Marriages fail because of selfishness; putting your own needs above the other. When you know every decision is going to cause an argument and a pull for power over the other you start to wonder why you even bother trying to discuss things. So each of you make individual decisions until you are individuals living separate lives that so happen to sleep in the same room.
What Does Submission to Your Husband Look Like?
So when we talk about submission to our husbands what exactly do we mean? Well, it’s a lot simpler than you think. It’s a choice we make as a couple, not something that is forced on us. It’s about selflessness. Submission is:
- Having trust in the man you married.
- Showing him you respect him.
- Putting him above yourself.
- Lifting your husband up instead of tearing him down.
- Believing in the unity your marriage rather than your coupled individuality.
Those who argue against submission paint a picture of a woman cowering in the corner while a man verbally beats her down to the point she has no voice left. They want you to believe submission to your husband makes you weak and incapable of thought.
Quite the contrary!
True submission to your husband means asking the tough questions to help him make the best decision for your family. Rather than throwing a list of demands at him, you present him with well-thought out arguments. Instead of using manipulation and tantrums to get what you want, you have meaningful conversations. Knowing you’re behind him gives him strength and confidence, thereby strengthening your marriage.
Submission to your husband means you have to develop a strong, confident character that withstands life’s storms. Instead of being the doormat most feminists believe us to be, we become the person our husband depends on, the most important person in the world to him.
Practice True Submission to Your Husband
You encourage and support rather than wear down and belittle. Submission to your husband earns you his respect and devotion. He begins to rely on your wisdom and insight and makes better decisions because you give him the confidence to do so.
True submission to your husband reduces the conflict caused by looking out for our own interests and our need to be right. It encourages intimacy of mind and body by bringing us together.
Submission to your husband is a mutual decision made by a husband and wife who want more from their marriage. It requires practice, commitment, and sacrifice from both of you. It’s about accepting the other, building their strengths, forgiving their mistakes. Submission to your husband is about the two of you becoming one.
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